She's Just After His Money

The picture is one that we’ve seen many times before. An older man, say 50’s or so, over-weight and balding, is walking on the beach and holding hands with a woman who could easily be his daughter, and looks like she models swim suits for a living.

“She’s only after his money” is the predictable response. Well, that may be true, but certainly there are other possibilities, and why is it that we don’t hear the equally self-righteous and accusing cry “He’s only after her body”?

In fact, if one is true, then it seems probable that so is the other. She wants his money, and he wants her body. That sounds like a pretty honest relationship, albeit not very romantic.

I mean, don’t all men dream of a lovely wife?

Don’t all women seek security in a man?

Just how different are we from them?

My first thought is that a great deal of envy may be involved in our reaction. (Note: I said envy, not jealousy. Envy and jealousy are two different things. They are not synonymous. Please consult a dictionary if clarification is needed.)

Very few men have the physics of a professional athlete, let alone the bank account, yet this guy who looks worse than we do gets a super-model for a …..companion, girlfriend, or maybe even a wife!

Well, THAT’S NOT FAIR! So, in our righteous indignation, (at least we think that it is), we lash out and vilify her. How dare that floozy take advantage of this poor (???) old man!! She’s just a high-class streetwalker!!

One reason that men don’t vilify him is because he has a pile of money, and, more importantly, 99 out of 100 men (or more) would do the exact same thing if they were in his position. So, we cast our stones at her, especially if our wives or girlfriends are nearby. (We don’t want them to know what we’re really thinking.)

This behavior from men isn’t surprising, but women join in and condemn her too! It may simply be that they want to be in with the majority. You know, it’s much more comforting to be with the many than the few.

So, be honest ladies, if you were her age, and had her assets, would you really be attracted to a guy who lives in his parents’ basement and plays video games any time he has his nose free of his fingers?

No, you’d be looking for a man who can provide you with love and security, and a man with money can certainly provide the security which becomes an even bigger issue if you want to have children. It’s only natural.

However, when the ladies do let him have it, it often goes like this: “He should be dating someone his own age”, which, because these ladies are usually about his age, really means: “He should be dating me”.

Come on ladies, didn’t you have posters of athletes, rock stars, or some sort of “hunks” on your bedroom walls way back when? All other things being equal, you’d take the handsome man every time, and if he has money it’s all the better. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

We are all much more alike than different. We all make compromises. If you think that someone has  it all, that simply means that you don’t know them well enough.

We all seek someone in whom we can confide, someone who’ll accept us despite our failings, someone who is honest with us, someone who cares about us.

We don’t know the couple that we have been talking about. She may have never had a father and found it in him. He may never have had a date in his life until he met her.

She may lie in bed at night wondering if he truly loves her.

He may lie in bed thinking, if it would give him certainty, he’d give away all that he has, just to know that she truly loves him.

It’s easy for us to criticize those we don’t know.

It may make us feel better to project our own doubts, fears, and frustrations onto others.

It’s something to think about.